To Everything there is a Season.....A time to weep and a time to laugh....Ecc. 3:1,4

   It’s amazing how God works in our lives. We may not fully understand why things happen the way they do, but in the end, when we trust him, he makes Romans 8:28 become real in our lives. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

   My oldest son’s family was finally able to move to their own place and I had my home back, although a bit lonely. A few months later, my youngest son decided a closer commute to work was more appealing, and I invited him back home. We have a lovely time learning to cook and experiment with new dishes. 

   I feel God teaching me to cope with my occasional sadness and celebrate the joys. My job of 23 years was ending this summer of 2014. Regardless of this anticipated loss, I took a big leap of trust and committed to a major kitchen, bathroom and laundry room remodel. A wall was taken down but God was gracious and the remodeling went very smoothly and the result was beautiful. It gave me joy to see the potential of entertaining again in this big house. One great joy in my life was the Wedding of my 2^nd son. It was absolutely beautiful from start to finish. There is not been many times I had a chance to “gussy” up and have fun, and this was a beautiful celebration of love for a lifetime. 

Son Alan, Me, Nora & Robby, and son Scott

A beautiful dream reception

   One month after the kitchen remodel, a refrigerator water hose came apart and flooded almost the entire house overnight. Upon cleaning up, asbestos tile was found under the carpet and a major clean-up was done, paid for by my homeowners policy. I decided to do the remaining repairs myself and do all the things I wanted done and my contractor could not with the estimate they gave. One wonders if God had a hand in this? How is it possible that I was able to get everything repaired and still have money left from the insurance settlement?  Of course, if someone had to pay me for my labor, it might be a different story. But what did I gain? A lot….not just money. I learned a lot of new skills thanks to Youtube videos, gained some new tools and supplies. My confidence rose. This labor kept me busy and focused as I also applied for a new job.  I gained a few sore muscles too, but this was nothing compared to the results accomplished.

  So now I have a new remodeled house, a new job and a new life to look forward to as I use God’s gift for His glory. Praise God for his Blessings!

Happy New Year 2011

It’s hard to believe another year has slipped away! However, rather than reflect on the past, I feel it is important that I focus on the future. Perhaps this is a turning point for me. I need to think on the positive as Philippians 4:8 says “ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever, is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”


Of course, when one focuses on the future, one needs to have a goal. I don’t think I made many New Years resolutions last year as I feel I had little control of it. I had to surrender totally to where God was to take us. The surrender is still there, but I want to have a little direction for my life, at least the part I have some control over.

Here are some of my initial resolutions:

1. Declutter my home- I am reading a book called “The Joy of Less, Minimalist Living Guide: How to declutter, Organize, and Simplify Your Life.”

2. Find more time to connect with people. Build relationships. Visit more with people, especially those that have less support.

3. Read more. I’ve given up on TV-can’t get many channels in my area anyway. Most TV is bad news, too. I do not want cable-too expensive. I’ll stick to the internet and Kindle books.

4. Downsize my fiber inventory. Why am I keeping so much around? I have less time to use it.

5. Have fun with the grandkids. What a joy they are and a challenge. Give them a supportive, stable and loving living environment.

6. Read through Proverbs.

7. Loose weight: find time to exercise. Consider joining a gym.

8. Stick to my budget. Save up to take my grandkids to Disneyland.

9. Take a weekend trip before summer.

10. Experience Joy! Last year it was the Search for Joy. This year, I want to experience more Joy than ever before.

A Real Family Thanksgiving 2010

The decision to hostess the family Thanksgiving was not an easy one. No one expected me to do this, having lost my husband four months ago, but I felt I needed to get back to a normal holiday routine. I wondered if I didn't find some joy in this holiday, there was a good chance future Thanksgivings and Christmas may be permanently altered. Of course, I weep for the missing presence of Walter, but I know he would want me to go on with my life in the best way I could manage. Life goes on, and what better way to convince ourselves of this fact, than getting together with family. My sons have always considered holidays for family. and this year "Home for the Holidays" should take on a special meaning of "togetherness". So the invitations went out and everyone I invited accepted-----all 18 people!

I really wanted to make this Thanksgiving special and went all out to decorate and cook the main dishes of turkey and ham. Preparing for it, like preparing for Walter’s memorial, was very therapeutic for me. Holidays seem to be hard when you lose a loved one. Although there were times to shed tears, I kept very busy with preparations without much time to think and grieve. Working from dawn to bedtime helped me sleep well enough for each new day. I saw my goal and went to work completing it.

It all paid off in a lovely Thanksgiving potluck, warmly and deliciously contributed by all. We had more food than we could eat. We had good conversation, played some fun games and even had my 4 yr old granddaughter make some crafts with the help of my dear friend. There were lots of giggles and smiles as contestants exchanged socks, danced while humming a tune, held a silver spoon in their mouth (I bet you thought people were born with this---wink!) and had lively debate on whether you would give up kissing or saying “I love you”, and whether you would rather have “smart” children or “beautiful” children. It was the best family time I've had in a long time.  I love my family and our friends felt like family, as well. Everything seemed to click together.

How blessed we all felt. God is indeed good! In the words of Tiny Tim, “God Bless us, Everyone!”

Grief work

I have been staring at my blog for the past 15 minutes realizing that I should write something soon. Some may be wondering how I am doing and others may be more interested in knowing what kind of fibery insights I may have to share. I do not have much to tell except that I am doing well.

I feel the pain of my grieving is getting less as I have passed the 3-month mark. There are moments that I miss Walter and I encounter things that trigger tears and sadness of him not being here, but I am learning to accept my situation more and move on.

As I get through the widow’s work of figuring out the paperwork associated with insurance, and financial settlements, I am feeling more confident. I have learned so much in a short period of time about insurance and IRA’s than I care to, but it is necessary to my survival, especially in these low economic times.

My work continues to be all consuming, as I struggle to add more management responsibilities to my all already overwhelming work responsibilities. I suppose I should feel good that my boss feels I am capable of doing the work, regardless of my loss. However, I have had to force myself not to take work home, as I need this time for me and my grief work. It becomes a shaky balance.

In thinking about grief, I realize we ALL do some kind of grieving in our lives. Everytime we have a disappointment or a loss of some kind whether it be personal, physical, relational or an object, some part of us not only feels sad, but it can cause a little part of us to die with it. Some of it can be resurrected and healed and others cannot. This means it is all part of the cycle of life and we should not hide from it but face it head on. When we do this, it may help us get through it quicker.

So my overall objective is to find “Joy” in life. Even our trials can be considered joyful. How? You might ask? Last Sunday, our teacher/pastor mentioned a Bible scripture, “Consider it pure joy, my brother, whenever, you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4”. What a profound thought!

On the fibery front, I am getting ready to sort out my very large fiber collection and get rid of some of it. I must make room for my son and his family to move in, and I grieve the loss of my fiber storage places in our two spare bedroom. Nevertheless, it must happen and I will need to be selective as to what to keep for my projects. I am still working on my Friendship shawl from the fall issue of Spin-Off Magazine. My goal is to finish by Christmas.

With the holidays around the corner, I am looking forward to them. I love to have family around. Holidays are the times everyone comes home to rest and relax. I want to keep that tradition as long as possible and hope that it will continue to renew our peace and love for each other.

Finding Joy

I’m on a quest of finding “joy”and beauty in the world. I am trying hard to keep my spirits up without any medicinal aids. If I am going to get through this process called “grieving”, I cannot solely rely on medication that would give me artificial joy. I feel I must first explore things that surround me already that I can choose to find joy in.

One of the places I decided to start with is my bedroom. I needed a change. I have always loved patchwork quilts. I guess it’s the crafty/artsy part of me. It is also the pioneer woman spirit in me to marvel at the advanced thinking, planning and working out a pattern that is pleasing to one’s eye that one has the talent to do. So I decided to go on an Internet search for a patchwork quilt. Unfortunately, there was not many choices displayed. Most were very drab color combinations and I felt I needed some rich color to wake me up with joy!

I happened to be browsing through Walmart the other day, and decided to see what the Bedding section had to offer. Lo and behold, something caught my eye and held it. It was a beautiful Shooting star quilt in bright reds, blues, yellow and greens. The main color was red, which is my favorite color. Red represents love and passion and life. I spent all evening dismantling my heavy waterbed by myself to put on a new bed skirt and comforter set. It is absolutely beautiful. It was well worth the effort. Even though, initially, I thought about buying something feminine and “girly”, as I didn’t have a man to compromise with, I think this pattern can be very neutral. I know Walter loved red and would have been happy with this bed cover. Now, I am thinking…….perhaps a little new paint on the walls to bring out the color……..

Next week I will have my sons help me move my recliner in my bedroom, giving me a quiet place to read, knit and think when I want to. I am also working on a Thomas Kinkade puzzle called Make A Wish Cottage. I have always loved Thomas Kinkade paintings of cottages. This one also has lots of color and light. When I am finished with it, I will frame it and hang it by my recliner to gaze and dream at. I dream of having happy grandchildren around to love. I imagine myself sitting in this recliner with one of each side of me listening to me read them a book. I dream of smiling faces wanting to spend time in Grandma’s room to play and find secret hiding places to play “hide and seek”. I dream of having them nap in this room when they are tired from the day’s activities in a quiet place away from the TV.

Happiness is finding “joy”!

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22