Saturday, October 31, 2009


Finish-itis, (Please excuse the hypen. It looks better this way)

I haven’t blogged in awhile. I just haven’t had much time to collect my thoughts. Stress has overwhelmed me the last two months. The job: breaking in and adjusting to a new boss, trying to meet the demands of starting school, preparing for a pandemic and disaster planning, training new office staff has been stressful. All this in addition to trying to cope with W. not responding to his latest treatment, unable to function more than moving from the recliner where he sleeps all day to the bed, where he sleeps more, having to do all the housework, his and mine is exhausting. The only thing that keeps me sane is my knitting.

I have finished a saddle sweater for my 22 yr old son, a knit skirt for me and miscellaneous items. The knitting is complete. It just the finishing….the weaving of seams, the blocking, etc. that needs to be done.

I don’t know why this is so difficult for me….to finish or not to finish. That is the question! This seems like such a easy task but I struggle to get motivated to do it!

I am on a sweater knitting jag right now. Having finished the Elizabeth Zimmerman Yoke sweater and the Elizabeth Zimmerman Saddle sweater, I am now making a Elizabeth Zimmerman Cardigan in the round with steeks. I plan to steek the opening and knit a border when I am done. This is slow-going but the color (red) keeps me knitting on. I love red. I’m tired of knitting with drab greys. I need some color in my dreary life.

Life has been a little lonely lately. W. has not felt good enough with his lymphoma to do much, other than an occasional outing to dinner or fast food. I am feeling the struggle of deciding to either find a part-time job that is less demanding or quit or retire, so I can take care of my husband and manage all the paperwork associated with his cancer treatment.

I’m not sure we can afford my loss of income just yet. Slowly but surely, we are reducing our debts and I will feel better about a change when that happens. It is very hard to think about changing a job I’ve been at for 20 years, two blocks from my home. However, I am feeling that he needs me more at home and my desire for my job is waning. I have been told I am good at what I do, but my focus is just too distracted by his needs. Rather than be a nurse for the 250 children in my care, I will be a nurse for one. It’s not really changing jobs. It’s only relocating. I am only one year away from early retirement but I got a late start of saving for retirement, so the income won’t be much. Yet, I have never been a high maintenance woman. We just need enough to live a modest life and take care of the bills.

So why am I afraid of finishitis? What is it that keeps me hanging on?
UPDATED 11/11/09

My finishitis is cured! I finished the Saddle Sweater and Bell Curve Skirt. See pictures below .