Saturday, April 17, 2010
The Tornado of Life
This procedure is very important. It is a BIG DEAL! This might be W’s only chance at a stem cell transplant and a longer life span. We are jumping through every hoop we can to make this happen.
There is also some sense of finality about this. Although the hope is there for a future, it has some big risks associated with it. The worst case scenario is that Walter will not come home. We have spoken about this possibility and I think we are both somewhat at peace with this and we are both in a mode of sharing every moment possible getting the house ready. For what I know not. We know God is in control and we trust him for whatever he wants for us. I think Walter is trying to squeeze every ounce of strength and energy out of his body and do something with it, knowing that he is likely going to have to rebuild his strength again from scratch after the transplant. I have finally allowed W. to drive again, regaining some sense of independence, he has craved since last January.
The other day, I shared with Walter that I did not have a desk or room for myself. My stuff, i.e fiber and yarn stuff, is spread throughout the house. Now, we have two extra rooms and so he decided we should each get one for our “stuff”. So we have been moving furniture and sorting through our collection of stuff, paring it down and organizing.
Since we were blessed with a tax refund this year, the first in many years, we decided to finally replace our garage and front doors. So in the one week we have left together before he enters the hospital for his transplant, we have been trying to get all this done.
Doing all of this is very therapeutic for our emotional health. It helps distract us from our hidden fears. It helps us be productive and prepare for the future whatever it might be. It gives us a sense of living life to the fullest, a sense of normality, when over the past year it has been anything but normal. God has been good to us. It almost feels like the week before our wedding. All the planning is done. You know your life is about to change dramatically, and you are trying to stay in control of your emotions, your fears, your hopes and dreams for the future.