A Hard Week and A New Purpose for the New Year.

I finally received my computer repaired. The keys now work just fine. Lately, I haven’t had much time for anything and this has been the worst week of my life. My husband fainted in my arms as I helped him to the bathroom on New Year’s night and was gravely ill with heart failure and the severe complications that can result from this. He’s been in ICU since and as of today I can say his condition is upgraded to guarded. I’m just living day to day trusting God to keep me and my husband going. I’ve been sitting by his side daily, trying to help the nurses and communicating with the doctors as they treat him.

Taken on Christmas Day 2009

Yesterday was a deep sigh of relief as he seems to be awakening and able to answer questions by nodding in his weakened state, despite the tube in his mouth helping him breathe. I thank God for granting this to me. However, he is still not out of the woods yet.



All of this happened at the same time as my two sons bought a home and moved. It will not be easy for me adjusting to the change, but I know God will help me through it. He has always given me a purpose. Perhaps, this purpose is now to take care of my husband full time.

This has been the most challenging time of my life, and I thought raising 3 sons was the challenge. It’s like I’ve stepped into a new purpose. As my last son launches himself on a life of independence, I was beginning to question what next? I’m proud of all my sons and the good independent lives they are leading. I do not worry too much about them. I feel my husband and I have done well in raising them.



I’ve been thinking about how I can knit down my stash of the Acrylic yarn. I love listening to CogKnitive podcast. They are starting a Knit Along for the Mother Bear Project that knits bears for South African children who have HIV. There is a myth that adults with HIV can be cured by having sex with virgins. Many children have contracted HIV in this way, along with the emotional devastation that comes from being raped and loosing ones parents to AIDS. A teddy bear becomes a small comfort for these traumatized children. This would be a great project to start. I’ve made one bear but still have to embroider the face features. My next bear will be a ballerina bear.

So…as I sit by my husband’s side in ICU, I knit not only for my own comfort and peace, but with the hope that as I sit attending my husband, a child somewhere in the world can also be comforted with the bear I make for them.