Thursday, August 19, 2010
Redefining My Purpose
As my family and I deal with our grief, we are blessed to have our work to distract us. My sons and I are back to work, trying to live our lives with a special memory of Walter kept in our hearts and with some peace that he is having some interesting conversations with the Lord in Heaven. This gives my heart a great sense of peace and comfort….one that surprised me. As our pastor put it “How can we live in this world without knowing the Lord?” For some reason I don’t have the gut-renching emptiness I had expected. I am at peace, assured where Walter is and that I will someday join him. I have no regrets or guilt to carry. Walter and I were at peace with whatever the outcome was to be. Of course, I will miss him greatly and wholeheartedly….but God is not done with me yet. I feel my purpose goes beyond serving my husband as a wife. I feel I still have a purpose to fulfill.
So as I try to piece my life back together and figure out what direction the Lord will guide me, I have slowly picked up my knitting again. I am working on simple baby socks. I need small projects right now as my attention span is short and there is much I have to figure out with paperwork and maintaining the house, which is now my sole responsibility. I am thankful for a home base my family can come to for respite and relaxation.